Director: Bruce Seven
Distributor: 4-Play Video
Length: 81 min
Actress: Christy Canyon, Erica Boyer, Gina Carrera, Heather Wayne, Gina Valentino
Actors: Peter North, Tom Byron, Marc Wallace, Dan T Mann, Chuck Martin
Jeez, even my hero, Bruce Seven can have a rough go of it when he’s working with next to nothing, although this inexpensively made production does have a purpose.
This is a textbook example of pulp movie making. The story line, that anyone in possession of a certain glass bauble can have a great sex life, serves only to get from one scene to the next as it changes hands between the various characters. The action in the movie flows like a grocery list. In fact, there ought to be a sticker slapped on the back that reads: "Ingredients: 2 guys/ 1 chick, 2 chicks/1 guy, 2 chicks, guy/girl, solo chick fantasy, (bondage) 2 chicks/2guys/I chick (tied-up)." Even though the sex is plentiful, there are a lot of flabby thighs and the guys look like they’d never get laid if they weren’t in adult films. Heard enough?
Anyway, I did say this film had a purpose, didn’t I? Well, it’s like this. Tired of the dumb videos they show on the large screen TV at your local watering hold? Tell the guy with the earring that calls himself a vj to slip this tape on and see if he gets any complaints. This tape is so tame that I think nobody would suspect anything out of the ordinary. If nothing else, the abundance of the sex in this tape could make said bar a little more interesting. Look, I’m getting a little tired of the same, interchangeable, fat-assed secretaries bitching bout their crummy office jobs. Supposed Gil Scott-Heron was wrong when he said "The Revolution Will Not Be Televised?" Where’s John Lennon when we need him? WE WANT TO DO IT IN THE ROAD!!!!
I’m sorry. I’m getting silly and carried away. What I was trying to say is that the only real thing you want this tape for is to use as ambient video. Relegated to the background it’s not so bad. However, to sit there watching this for an hour and a half . . . pleeeeeze!
Bruce, baby, get back to the kind of work that makes us proud of you.